I was looking back through some stuff I found online and printed off a while back about children and control. Of course I forgot to write down where I got them from so I'm sorry about the copyright infringement. :)
"There is ultimately nothing 'strong' or leaderlike about imposing authority on a child. Rather, it takes a great deal more self-discipline and momentary wisdom to recognize the child's need and help him or her meet it. The abuse of power creates the seed of rebellion."
"So, I have never wanted to control my children. I've wanted them to learn to be "under control" in that they understand social/behavioral expectations and can control themselves within acceptable limits. I have felt, though, that exerting control over them is not the most effective way to nurture that self control as I have been very aware in my own personality of the tendecy to push against controls exerted from the outside."
It might be easy to say we don't want to control our children, although I know many parents who believe that's the goal, but I think it's much harder to follow through.
Thoughts?
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4 comments:
Thank you!!!! HI, my name is Lindsey Caskey(waldeck).....I graduated w/Jake!! I have been reading your blog now for awhile now, todays was very helpful. I have a 4 year old, 2 year old and a 7 week old, and today--actually this week seems to have been a power struggle with my 2 older children. Thank you again for the insight, it is encouraging!!
I don't want to control my children I want to teach them to have self-control :)
good thoughts nicole! ben and i just got done going through a parenting class at church that was SOOOOOOO good! as parents we're not supposed to control our children or even to make them act as we would want them to. but rather, we are to teach our children how God would have them act. the book and class is centered around Deuteronomy 6:6-7. if you're interested at all there's more info at http://www.visionaryparenting.com/
I think you are right on, that has always been my goal as a parent. The hardest part for me is keeping my self control and being a good model.
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